My All Indian Identity Crisis.

Wow its been more than 2 years since I have blogged over here but I hope I can write more often from now on.
I recently read a beautiful article about Mumbai and all its craziness which made me go back and relive all the fun/traumatic experiences I have had in this city that I call home. Then thoughts diverged and I scrambled about all my experiences in India in all the different places I have lived in.

Now, I am ethnically from the state of Tamil Nadu in India, and I have lived there for at least 8 years. But the rest of my life has been in Mumbai. And like all the people who were brought up in Mumbai, I LOVE IT. There is something about this mixed Identity that I have come to love and cherish. All my life in Mumbai to all my wonderful friends I was always the south Indian dude who could swear at them in languages they did not comprehend or care enough to differentiate between. But at the same time to all my friends in Chennai and college at SASTRA I was always the guy who was madly in love with Mumbai and could not stop raving about it. All of this is my Identity. None any more separable from who I am. I am as willing to goto a Rajnikanth movie and scream at the top of my voice as I am to get wet in a rain that most people would be scared to even look at. I am as addicted to sambar as I am to the sandwiches on the roadside of Mumbai.

The best part is that this is the story of a large number of Indians at different extents. And often I have seen many people giving up one of their inclinations to belong to the other or to simply fit in where they live or what they like. Not that its wrong or anything but why be one when you can be all! Isnt that the beauty of the mosaic that is our country? I have always tried to be all that I am and I love it. After all how many people can boast of being able to handle the Chennai's busses AND the Mumbai's Trains!
**this short self centered post is to inspire me to write more and hopefully I will write on more varied topics later! **

America-philes?

Like all blogs this is just another thought that popped in from a news report i was reading. In this piece of news a guy was wondering whether or not to reveal the fact that he is an American on overseas trip! He believed that by telling everyone he was Canadian he was gonna have a safer trip!

That brings me to an interesting thought. How many people do we know who still like America? By people i mean from different countries.And by America i mean it's policies and not the people of America or the place itself. Invariably people from most countries seem to have a problem with American policies and actions. To the effect that i can safely say that apart from the Americans themselves very few people actually like America... So when did this happen? Were people always unhappy with American polices? did we all always hate America the way we do now?
The answer is an obvious and a resounding NO! There was a time when America was the big Indian dream! it still is in many ways! There was a time when the world was an America-phile!

We Indians understand things best when we put things in particular contexts. Best of all is cricket. In crickets ye days there was a period of absolute dominance by the West Indies. It began with the likes of clive lloyd, andy roberts and michael holding, and the great viv richards.
They dominated cricket completely for about 10 years. There was no matching them in their deadly pace attack or their swashbuckling batting! Likewise we have also had a period of Australian dominance in world cricket. This I would say is slowly coming to a grinding halt now.For the last 10 to 12 years the austrlians have absolutely destroyed all competition and are without doubt the champions. But there is a striking difference in these two eras of cricket....

Back in the days when west indies were the champs, they were amazingly popular winners. They were famous winners and were liked and loved by all. Every team which played against them had almost a reverence while opposing them. Every team looked up to them and wanted to emulate their practices to gain success. However this was and is not the case with the australians. The australians were ruthless and aggressive just like the west indies but they often took their tactics an methods too far. Sportsmanship gave way to ugly gamesmanship far too many times.Their cut-throat and arrogant ways made them unpopular winners, which they remain to this day. WHAT DO U THINK WAS THE DIFFERENCE?Why were the aussies the way they were?

The difference is simple, and when i tell you this you will know why i have wasted so much time on cricket history. The simple difference was that the Australians were a team who were afraid of losing. Their game was driven by this fear which would lead them to go on to any means to win the game.The West Indies were simply inspired human beings.

The conclusion is by now in your head.The Americans have always been inspired leaders of the world.They were popular superpowers and every country in the world adhered to Americas word.All the countries looked up to it and its polices...this was at least 10 yrs ago...
People may say the change happened with Mr.Bush, others may argue it began before but the fact is .... America is driven today by FEAR. Be it Fear of terrorism, of lack of resources(oil etc) or of rapid climate change... All of americas policies are influenced by their inherent fear and insecuity. Decisions made out of fear are seldom the right ones.Their actions, their methods of dominance and crude policies are quite frankly hated by the world today. America once respected by the world for their policies is now just that, an unpopular superpower.



"The only thing we have to fear is fear it'self - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Die-nasty politics?

Interesting were the last few days spent in mumbai without much to watch on TV i landed up watching a good debate on young politicians.But like any other good debate on TV the panelists spoke on everything except what they were asked to speak on. On the topic of younger and newer generation of politicians it was amazing how we indians just cannot count out how dynasties permeate our politics. Arun jaitley once made an interesting remark where he said- " Only two things bring out young politicians no1 is caste politics no2 is dynasty politics".
But then why is dynasty politics so inextricable from indian politics? more so i must say congress. Why cant a party like congress survive without a gandhi-nehru family person at its head? Why is it necessary now to give someone like rahul gandhi the kinda of position and support that other younger equally competent and qualified politicians are denied? Yes he does have his legacy behind him but isn' that past? I mean its not like we even know the names of the descendants of mahatma gandhi or lal bhadur shaastri! Its certainly not ravi shaastri! I have a friend who is a long drawn derivative of bipin chandra pal... he din even become class rep!

Dynasties in politics is not totally unfavorable though.After all people who grew up and lived among the great leaders of yesteryears must have had something rubbed off on them. People tend to have tremendous faith and feel safe in such people as compared to a completely potent stranger.And whatever said and done a democratic leader is one who makes the people feel safe and comfortable.Someone who they think will work for them.
Maybe the solution to this divide lies by restricting dynasties.Sonia who lived among rajiv gandhi and Jawaharlal nehru is certainly an able replacement however on the question of the third generation leaders such as rahul and priyanka i must miss a beat..
*coda*

At winter's heart...

Last exam to go...2 day break when u really don't need it.. Perfect time to have a puppy!
Well the bugger was roaming around outside mess hall when me an my friend spike set our eyes on him. Well for spike it was love at first sight and i would fall for the cute one once he convinced me we must take it back to our room. So this cold winter night to shield him from the weather we thought, we must keep him with us and boy did we have a ride!
It was almost as if after my previous post god wanted to show off and show me what a creature he had made. I think he decided to send me the cutest little puppy to see what i do!! Really if ever we may pour our heart out unconditionally and spontaneously... its for a dog! As he jumped we jumped, as he ate we smiled, as he played we played, as he cuddled and slept on us..... we ran out of words....
He was twice the size of my palm, jet black in color and about the cutest thing you would see anywhere.We wanted to name him...just because we wanted to do what people with dogs did, u know, give a name and try fetch then potty train all that stuff.So we started with the name.Spike came up with that, i thought okay he's fighting it and we tried saving him from it, worth the name..WINTER.
Then came all the fun things as all of us guys ganged up in spikes room to make sure that he had the best of everything! Try as we might we couldn get a certain 150kilo talking machine called iyer out of there but we still did what we could.But then the dog really never gave a shit about him so we let him stay.
Even worse was the analogies and doubts cast by one undescribable Ravi!!!His first doubt was not a surprise to me..."What is his reaction to music?" I was going- for god's i mean dog's sake give the poor thing a break but noo.. on he went yapping away never once moving from the bed to do anything for the dog mind you.There were people running around getting it milk(Thanks Bharath - who even made winter a nice tray to eat an drink in!) an food but he was watching it like it was a circus animal and he'd got his ticket! He totally cracked us up with his nonsensical doubts on whether or not it will take rock music so we let him also stay... Besides i knew i had to blog up this post from his comp later in the night, so we let him stay ;).
But later in the night after spending time potty training him to piss on newspapers and also teaching him a brand new "chase me" game we had to let him go... well we dint know if he had a mommy or not when he started yelping and screaming so we let him go with the outside dogs.
The toughest thing i have done after my math exam. I don't know how they do it but yes they have this effect on you.They make u feel close to them.For the next one hour me and spike had to hide and watch it and make sure it was ok.We were hiding so it doesn follow us back you numbskulls and nitwits!
I have no complaints he had his life and i had mine, but I'm grateful and i think spik too will be for the one night we had, this winter.....

The list of life..

An afterthought to the movie Schindler's List. What makes a movie such, such as Schindler's list?
Is it the truth behind it? Is it the voice of gratitude of the thousands that live in testimony of the great man? ..or is it the dying pleas of those who were left back...those victims of the holocaust??
Who else may form such an unlikely hero as schindler? A swindler.A man who's sole purpose was to make money out of the sufferings of people during war.. To take advantage of them.One wonders as the movie goes on where in the movie does it happen? do the shades of gray start turning white? Was it when he bribes the first time to get the old couple from camp ghetto? Is that why the golden watch he tips off look so golden? Is this color one of emerging emotion?
Why then does the little blob of red in 3 hours of the movie reach out like those of a child's hands that don them?
How is it that the quiet diligence of a jewish accountant affect so adversely such an entirely visual and outspoken,even flamboyant man. Was that what made him realize his own power? In his own word's schindler in the movie says "money is not always money" even when he thought money would get him all he wanted.But what redefined what he wanted?
The warmth in the words as he offers them "hot soup and bread" will mellow down the hardest of hearts.But the doubt is how very little lives he seems to have affected around him. The warden of that camp the Russian officials, the other businessmen. Even with the jews crying for water when schindler runs with a fire hose to give them water, there seems to be little effect on anyone but a trace on the wardens mind.Are men so cold? Or was schindler just godsend..

Those last minutes, despite his efforts as he breaks down on every object he possesses on how they could have been sold to get more people free...the effect is magical and would leave stones wet with emotion.
Oscar Schindler is more than just an inspiration in a world riddled with violence. Not that many of us may be blessed with the power and ability to scale a task as big on the mind as on this world, but it is a lesson on what to live our lives for.Not pots and pans....

why suck-ups hav dogs...

Well ppl were back to totally nonsensical and absolutely irrelevant blogin. Its amazing how these thoughts just never seem to give me a break during the exams.Its almost as if the exams seem to crank up this side of the brain. Anyway guys moving right along..We are all surrounded by suck-ups, not one or two of them.they seem to breed by the hundreds like a swarm of mutually dependant bees. but the amazing thing is they seem to get their work done always.What makes them so successful?Is it that their blessed characters have additional talents and sterlingly superlative skills?? No the answer is they know how to lick the derrieres and thats all!

Coming to the point of the blog, there was a recent survey among ppl in an office on how much time they spent with their family members including the "family dog" and the result was a resounding victory for the dog!! amazed? its hardly surprising to me. Well its easy to understand the human psyche here.The dog is a creature that loves its master no holds barred.It can't assess the individual.U could be cyrus broacha or a serial killer.. even srimao bhandara naike was loved by her dog( don jump on me its just an eg.!!) The dog is always happy to see the master.And even better is the fact that the dog never speaks back.It doesn't object to anything its master says!

Now for the implication which the brighter among you might have already started seeing.The dog is a symbolic outburst of man's "social insecurity". I don mean "social rejects" mind you.They're different.Some ppl are inherently socially insecure.The main way these ppl make friends and acquaintances is by sucking up. The dog is the common link.Most ppl voted in the above survey by their colleagues as suck ups were the same ppl who devoted their attention to the dog! Funny isn't it?? not really..The dog gains your favour above other family members by sucking up which is its nature and also its master loves it cuz its a wonderful suck up.The result is ppl who love their dogs so much end up not only sucking up themselves but also encouraging others to suck-up to them! This may be absolutely sub-conscious but its the reality. Most of such ppl get to good positions by sucking up and then encourage others to suck-up to them!
What a wonderful world we live in!

Pls note that i hav nothing against dogs and their owners! they are wonderful creatures( few owners too).Its just that ass lickers are all over us! and we need awareness in this world to await their onslaught!
*Amen*

(Artificial) Consciousness..An illusion?

(Just a wee bit technical guys but fun i assure u ;) )

This is an interesting thought i jus happened to come across while re-reading one of my favorite books.Prey by michael Crichton.Its about awareness.We are all aware, U ,ME.. we are aware of what and who we are and a few lucky souls even what they must do! Now the question that troubles me an crichton too i guess, Is it possible to create artificial awareness???
I mean can u create a machine or write a program which is aware of itself? Now, by aware i mean it must be conscious of its existence and purpose as a machine or program. Take a break.

Well there is a computing concept called recursion.Recursion means making a program loop back on itself to use its steps to get a result.In simpler terms its what happens in the mirrors of the barber shop.A reflection is reflected an re reflected.But that is an extreme case which will lead to the break down of the program.

Now why am i telling u this? Consider a machine(to simplify things) whose purpose is to be aware of itself and we cal it the "awareness machine".It maybe its sole purpose or one of its purposes to be aware.Let me remind u this is just a hypothesis, an imagination.This has not yet been even conceptualized properly.
Now if this awareness machine were built, apart from being aware of "itself" would it be aware that its purpose is to be aware of itself? or will it be aware that it should be aware that its purpose is to aware of itself...do u follow it?
Here a recursion sets in which is appearantly endless...An i told u what happens to machines that fall infinitely into such recursions.It will simply break down.

But the really big question is going to blow u away!
Isnt our mind just another machine? isnt our mind a machine whose one of the purpose is to be aware?? So why doesnt our mind fall into the recursion that seems to prevent even the mere conceptualisation of aware machines??
So now the new question that arises is are we truly aware then??or are we run by a brain that creates an illusion of awareness beyond which may lay the cosmic truths.Is this what they called hiding in plain sight?
Or is this MAYA???

The semester that was!

So it ended the fateful yet rather bleak and event less semester......or thats what the mundane minds of ppl like ravi would say.Personally i felt there were jus too many things happenin this semester. The college which as we all know is very hectic and takes up a lot of my very precious time.And since im a firm believer that one must have ample attendance to get a feeling of satisfaction out of college life,yes, its tougher for me.
But speaking of attendance in this semester gives me a big shot of cocaine up my $%^$ cuz it has yet again proved that god exists.God the almighty equalizer and the harbinger of eternal harmony has showed us his presence - IYER GOT LAG!! I mean for all the inane and insane nonsense that happens in this world there is hope for us to continue. We cant live in a world where he can do watever he wants and still doesn get a LAG can we??? i mean its bad enough he clogs up the WIFI network with his unsanctimonious(ahh...always wanted to do tht to him) and abysmally unclear ideas of what to do on the internet (and my dear friends on tht note im workin day and night to find a way to block him from going to those highly objectionable websites an i promise u in due course i shall find an answer).
Otherwise the sem was fairly peaceful... spike has successfully completed this semester without buying even a toothpick/paste. Actually i found out tht only the day i left.. before that i thought it was just the bucket,mug,shampoo and washing powder apart from the occasional clips and hanger...but thts ok.. happens!
That reminds me i feel its better to borrow than to remain without something..like for example.....LAN!! haha.. we all know where im going.A certain person is really happy and jumping about in his checked shorts(who the hell wears chekd shorts???..i mean checked ??? as in lik a john miller shirt o somethin!!) that he has finally got LAN!!! a certain somethin that normal people have been enjoying for more than 6 months now!! i mean lan is so out... ppl move on to wifi an now he gets LAN..baah.. Not to mention all the various uses the poor computer of his has been subjected to. Especially with that archaic roomie of his! its degenerated so much that rumors flying in the hostel say it attracts warden Harriharan late in the night...scary.

On the more sane side of the hostel shielded against iyer by a few walls and against the lanlessly impotent gay me an lappu hav finished yet another argument over some absolutely irrelevent nonsense on the internet.Not to mention the various "haha my wifis downloadin at 100kbps(A dream)".. and" haha ur comp cant support tab effect on mozilla"(it really cant!! boo).
But we have made a few advancements on our career options.For instance we once started a conversation at 4 in the night before a practical exam on what we would do once we go to us for MS!!!..again.. happens...
Another thing that happens is ppl disappearing... sp??nowadays hes known to be spotted during cricket matches and somewhere in the corridors of the ground floor with one extremely bright junior guy... i dono...its all from sources u c..and besides it can be tough to spot someone below the knee... i mean u don look there do u?
Spotting can really be necessary in our gang of guys..I mean how else does one run into rama? unless u hav a tracking system that finds guys stuck to a phone in the ear and virtual guns in their hands..Well hes lik some of those weird tropical birds that show up during the nice seasons..So much so that these birds mark the beginning of the season. Rama is one such bird (ramesses fliers) which can be spotted marking the beginning of any exam..When we see rama u know its time to study!! be it watever exam u know hes got it covered for himself AND for u! hell even have a few time table options all planned with bathroom breaks for me an ravi!! wat would we do without him... hmm..not study maybe but still..wat would we..
When i thought i must rant away about all of us i wanted a particular viewpoint to begin with.. i thought i would try one of VC'c... of course it never got done.. Wasn't VC making a movie/short film/commercial/random photos...something like that???
but u know how it is... the rule that must not be said... vc movie= not getting done... hmmm..maybe VC should stick to playin san andreas.But hes already like all those professionals indefinitely postponing his shoots and release... For sometime with all those dates going around for our wifi i thought wifi will will be co-released with VC's movie.. but even they couldn delay it that much!!...losers

I love picking on people and who better than my friends..As far as i am concerned i hav spent another 5 months bugging all of them and laughing at every single atrocious and absolutely admonishable thing they have done(except iyer cuz what he does is just unpardonable).So pardon me for all the silly jokes, not so silly ones etc.. and if u don't then to hell with u!

[Curtains]
P.S. look out for more.. i think maybe my next post should be about things less explored..like sleep o something..

Conversations.....

We think.. we act...
we imagine.. we act..
we crave.. we act..
We Talk... We Converse.
Mind is a muscle.. it gets toxic when used.. toxins must be purged......Hence we talk..
Speech.It sets us free.. it opens our minds..
Conversation is a game.A game of connection...
and we must...must connect ,we must talk..
for that is how our mind breathes...
To live alone is to feed ur inner darkness...
inner darkness???there is no light without darkness.
What does it mean to be devoid of conversation? to be isolated...the hollow mind is a dangerous thing! especially for itself....
wat if the only conversation you hav is wit urself???
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this silence... its too loud;
it surrounds me-Icant think in it;
think straight??
{*Talk to me*}
im out there>>Im alone_a corner?
yes! a corner..i will sit in!
And no one can bother me!!
hmmmm...
I think i should speak now...
but i cant.. i never speak..;
words fail me;
{*Talk to me now*}
but i cant...i think i am weak now;
this drowns me;
but this weakness..cant be shown;
no..
{*Talk to....}
i wonder though...
where..where do we go from here...
u know it.. i cant even breathe now!!
{*You never talk to me*}
Were going nowhere...
nowhere....
{*Why wont u talk to me??*}
nowhere...
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The title blog..

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This one is about life's tragedies.. the fact that life is inherently unjust and unyielding when it chases u right to the brink and then... all of a sudden lets u go.Lets u free.. releases u from the wicked cycles of birth and death,truth and false, duty and detachment...Takes u beyond the world of mere opposites..err... wait..

Do u know the facts behind this blog portal?? just as i guessed...
Well long ago when blogin was by a few elite men who bothered to fill up pages for their niche of ppl there was one man who strode out of the darkness,who opened it out to the masses.There was a man who held the torch.. err... yours truly.. and so i blogged...
seriously now...
I was an early bird so i got the portal name www.andyromeda.blogspot.com on which i blogged for the years to come.. i wrote on many topics ranging from black holes to bikes.I was popular(so they say). i loved it..Then in an almost fatal tryst with a city called chennai i lost all my blogging abilities thru a sheer lack of inspiration.. and thus the portal was rustin away even as viewers and readers craved for more.But alas when our hero(me :-) ) finally opened the portal again in the year 2005...tragedy... catatstrophe...unimaginable chaos...

Some stinkin rat filled with slimy scum with ears wide white and mouth so blue! some shrimp meat called anand narayan has taken over my once glorious blog!! Once the solace of many lone heroes... o the pain..
This is not a resurrection it is a rebirth!!
so remember ppl.. i am www.theoriginal-andyromeda.blogspot.com!!!

gracias! gracias!